other planet: chamber music IV [1998​-​1999]

by Lindsay Vickery

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credits

released October 28, 2012

tags

license

all rights reserved
Track Name: songs of [virtual] love + war [1998]
I
somewhere in the dark net the voice speaks to me surrounded by empty digital silence
and eyes open out oceanic eyes there in fragments colour gazing absent eyes moving nervously over the pixelated sea
something of anguish and rage delirious and silent heavy armour with the wings of a bird
the murmering binary beat of the heart encased in its own cold net
murmers ruggedly digitised signals from my eternal recording angel bearing cryptic acronyms words digital wreckage smoking lieing in surrender retreating into silence
night drenches with its crushing invasion and you like a weapon begin to show the eternal thirst that flows from any angle
at any time you like a weapon a shifting road gone blank

II
I have the sky the atlas with dream wings light house road dark afternoons dark following your silent signs
across the thin blue net that holds up the sky I follow from silent signs a pattern
cryptic wreckage recording sealed words your message arrives with the burning perfume of the future
I accelerate myself to join with you my skin moves faster than time
and all the currents that pulse through me carry your signature I align every pattern in me to your angles to break the code
to shatter the sky
[your fire delirious rage perfect yes a heavenly moment of rage forged with black solitude that nothingness quickly gone time empty fragments white gone oblivion reached from your body your fire beats my heart with its silent wings your open eyes burning overwhelming crossed with its thirst somewhere]
to choose the eroded pattern the choice between the thin blue shattered body and the silent terrain

III. white and black your white skin your black hair forming the solid outline of the fluid world zero and one
white and black full of opposites curved the way time folds around the edges of a dream in every direction the horizon suggests the indefinable expansion a curve with an unmeasurable angle your irrational number
white and black your body the flag of a foriegn country where the ocean has turned white and the population is asleep lost and asleep a sea of faces floating below the surface your body is their collective flag dream waving above their heads above their closed eyes
in some moment that arrives like a silent movie of the future from a room where the clock's hands bend back
we are together filled with that strange energy and there in that moment its not enough that you have a body and I have a body its not enough to touch your skin its too finite too defined and if I could dissolve the world and collapse all matter and language that surround us wrap myself inside you every particle that forms you every particle that connects to you through your forehead to the shrouds of light that cascade through you learn the tidal shapes there moving dark patterns that well up unexpectedly search for a light to still these storms or drown there in the dark you around me
but I remain here separate senseless and solid observing this image you fixed in this holding pattern traversing intact the void between wave and number
you disappear behind this name the image I construct of you absently talking to you as though you were present

IV
now here nowhere I am here empty but present still but moving thinking I'd followed you here followed you here to find you empty you my name you who I find when I search for myself written in the patterns on my skin [why do you only open your mouth when I open mine?] more empty than a shadow my dark recording angel [shadow or reflection how could I distinguish this mutual vacuum when you keep repeating everything?] perhaps I am a pale ghost silently moving on the wrong side of the sky in an invisible trajectory
and I am full full of your emptiness [or you are full of mine]
V
in the night I gather up the sky I gather it around me wrap myself in this curtain of constellations put out every star one by one I put them out
the stars your eyes [that I close] one by one your eyes lost child - self or other [your voice can never tell me]
I extinguish each star and wrap myself in the night's wings wrap myself and close it and close the light close it
thinking you'd remain in that degrading holding pattern out of sight foreign matter to silence every wave to zero every number each chemical neutral

and then its quiet I hit this silence like a wall like I've fallen from a bridge I hit it with every nerve and cell of my body
[my body as it exists and as it believes it exists]
its impact a sudden momentary writhing in a vacuum and from this place with unnatural slowness
from this silent point observe the ritual disintegration of my body
while I can still see them I want ask them where they're going my hand is laughing [why is that?]
and there another hand and another like a hindu statue I grow limbs as fast as I can tear them off other bodies hidden in my body mirage after mirage around the void I begin to forget
I forget and they're overtaken words and body by the spreading pool some essential darkness spreading out
a lost name

a dream written on the insides of my eyelids swamping the faint voices of the dead that move through my body the voices
memories of selves or others other selves lame limping other selves greying out ghost-like embracing the equally dark
at this zero point where all sound and light are jettisoned I wait again in this familiar darkness but the stillness continues to move my eyes adjust to the light defining form again from emptiness the void becomes solid and I climb beyond the sky to another void only to define this new darkness and rise once more in infinite repetition until its impossible to tell whether I'm transcending or just transforming the same light to darkness flickering with the appearance of motion the choice to move only from zero to one and return turning back
I'm circling these twin stars black and white

lv 10.07.98
Track Name: other planet [1998]
other planet

where I sail my bed
a blue ukranian titanic
through icebergs of my own luggage

other planet

where people crouch
at a strange party
that fills the deck

other planet

where you arrive at 4 forty seven
to give me a letter
called en bateau

other planet
where the light is always yellow
where my eyes spin the world around
so heavy

other planet

where its always 4 forty seven a. m.
where a letter called 'en bateau'
[dry folded paper]
remains perpetually unopened
Track Name: counting | shaking [1998]
a hole is burnt through the sky
and through this tiny hole the world begins to empty
time stops moving forward and circles
I am heavy this is the wrong place

submerged

dreaming in faded black and white slow mo
the boundries of these dreams constantly contracting
until the same pale image flashes again and again ever more slowly and even the screen gradually closes its eye

o submarine o voice from the bottom of the sea
counting shaking strange tides redraw my boundries shaking strange tides

my eyes are open and colour is returning to the world
words return digging their roots deep into the earth
counting over and over
until the numbers fill the sky
the world turns so slowly

shaking always rolling forward on these strangely twisted rails that refuse to travel the middle path
'come with me' says the darkly flickering angel this way to the fast world this way to the howl of memory this way to the explosion of colour and scent

these moments falling away screaming away now ripping away
dark angels of my body travel slowly and don't open your eyes
spinning against the constant wall the stretched version of reality from which these angels escape and travel with their dangerous speed toward the shadow of movement
I'm coming back to you
wait for me in that frozen stillness let me join you
then roll the film
Track Name: those short hours [1998]
rain dark rain running through my flooded streets rain dark rain turning now like history
and your voice your dark rain voice bringing down the night and your voice o your voice never stops speaking
can I listen? can I listen? can I go to that place? can I listen?
those short hours
Track Name: whythisandnotanother? [1999]
I
in this moment [why this and not another] all someone
else’s he said: its not gravity that’s where we’re different expands but can’t return in her kitchen she says: coffee? all this time the phone

II
this all this time the phone is ringing: I’m not going
to answer it the phone rings: they stop she said:are you going to get it? he said
ok ok ok ok ok ok ok ok its not gravity that’s where we

III
late all the candles have burned they watch stop she said:are you going to get it? he said: its your phone she answers the door the guy said: is this what you wear to meet your friends?

IV
you watch am i in this moment can i is there why this
and not another time talking: the radio his voice adds: all this time the universe is expanding like its someone else’s he said: finish but return

V
ok okok ok ok ok ok ok ok ok ok ok ok ok okok ok ok ok ok ok okok ok ok ok ok ok ok ok ok ok ok ok okok okok ok ok ok ok ok ok ok ok ok okok ok ok ok ok ok ok ok ok ok ok ok okok ok ok ok ok ok okok ok ok ok ok ok ok ok ok ok ok ok ok ok ok ok ok ok ok ok ok ok ok ok ok ok ok ok ok ok ok ok ok ok ok ok ok

VI
is time talking: all this time to answer it up pissed up this moment the first time candles have burned this moment is there answer it the radio adds perspective: enough gravity to return he said: its your phone

VII
he adds: its moving she looks at him she turns ringing: I’m not going to answer it this moment is there answer it burned out someone to all this time the phone is ringing:was the first time he adds: expanding but it won’t return

VIII
he said:can i stay my car won’t make it she said: no she
said his name like its someone else’s he said: i won’t be like him he tries to say i won’t be back she looks at him she turns up pissed and three hours late

IX
finish and return all going this all this time the phone is ringing: I’m not going to understand this moment is there answer it to all this and not another all pissed answer it be and not another

X
the phone rings: they stop she said:are you going to get it? he said: its your phone she answers the door the guy said: the candles have burned out someone to understand why this not another